On 8th January 2023, Tshireletso ran La Corsa Della Bora, a spectacular 81km ultra-trail in Italy. In a riveting two-part interview, Tshire shares her incredible experience, her thoughts and emotions and her intense connection with God as she traverses the at-times terrifying terrain, in the dark and cold, emerging forever changed. If you haven’t read Part 1, start here first as she beautifully sets the scene for us, sharing what inspired her to run this race, her preparation as well as her experience of the first section of trail. Let’s continue where we left off…

From what you’ve already told me in previous conversations, I think your race is best told by you sharing some of the toughest challenges you encountered. I wish I had learnt how to fold my experience neatly so that I knew how to unfold it right now. Physically, I suffered a lot. I suffered pain in every part of my body. I felt the effort of every single joint in my body. I felt my strength beginning to fail… Mentally, I died many times. I have had ego; I have felt far less sure of myself. My heart has bled. I have shed endless tears. I have been in the gravest of situations. I have been through it all. It is only through a brave, stable mindset and excessive perseverance that I kept going, challenging my body against the elements and the distance.

Did I tell you that not all the trail was runnable? There was a point I came across a hard and dangerous situation. I had to walk along a slope on the mountainside covered with scree. Standing firm on my feet, I looked at the marking ahead of me, trying to figure out how to reach it, about a 100m away. I was afraid any slight movement I made would cause the scree under my feet to move, making me fall – roll down over 400m on sharp stones that were poised to cut and tear my flesh until I reached the rock-bed. There was no way out alive if I fell. I didn’t think it was my time, but hell, I was standing somewhere fatal…

Carefully, I brought out my phone and took a short video of me and the surrounding area, just in case… I felt weak. I closed my eyes, gave God my weakness and asked for His strength. I opened my eyes slowly, feeling more confident that I could make it. I put one foot in front of the other repeatedly until I reached the other end of the slope. ‘You are such a hero’. I heard a voice but didn’t see anyone. I continued with my journey, happy with the affirmation.

Towards my fourth cut-off point, I lost the trail. I realised because my watch read 62.5km and I had not reached the 60km checkpoint yet. I decided to call my husband to check on him and the kids. Usually, I would have waited and called at my last checkpoint as is our tradition. I took out the phone and dialled. There was no reception. Holy Christ, I whispered. I moved around a few steps until I got full bars. I dialled again: it went through. I was glad I whispered the right one. It rang once and he answered the phone with massive excitement in his voice. I heard my kids happily screaming ‘mommy‘ in the background. I missed them. I shed a few tears.

‘So, you are almost there, I am amazed!’ he said. I remained silent, thinking about them. During my races thinking about my family is a big motivation for me.  ‘Go mommy, go mommy, go mommy! Go! Go! Go!’ I can’t remember their mantra sequence, but they said something like that. I didn’t know if they wanted to hear it, but they deserved to know. So calm and put together, I said, ‘Mommy lost the trail, but mommy is…’ Before I could complete my sentence, my phone battery died. Surprisingly, I stayed calm, but not cool with what I was putting my family through.

I sat on my heels, boosted my phone with my power bank. It was while I was sitting that I realized there were no footsteps around except for mine, which clearly proved no runner had been here. I had lost the trail. A few minutes later, my phone went on. I called my family so I could finish the communication I had started earlier on a more positive note. Looks like I had not caused too much damage – they were happy to hear my voice again. They sent me hugs and kisses and wished me good luck. I felt happy and rejuvenated. I hit the trail again following my steps back. I was lucky the incline was fair. I gave it my best. I found the trail. It was only 35 minutes before my fourth cut-off point, and I didn’t know how far it was. It’s the only thing that mattered now. I found myself desperately cruising in the woods thinking: I’m the one who signed up for this. I’m the one who paid for this. I’m accountable. I’m a tough cookie, I will make it! Thankfully I arrived, 7 minutes before the cut-off time, relieved and hungry.

After a journey of falling down, crunching countless leaves, jumping over shrubs, stepping on painful stones, snapping twigs, figuring out the technical part of the trail, crossing a river, getting lost and surviving steep climbs in the dark and rain, I finally got to tarred road that led to the finish. I had passed all cut off points.  It was not only dark; it was pitch black. The only light was from my headlight. I had covered 78km, only 3km to the finish. Soon the tarred road branched into three, with a barrier line and bridge to separate them. I kept far left, ran a hundred metres: it led to a flyover, that wasn’t the route. I went back and took the mid road, I ran over two hundred metres: it led to an underpass, wrong route. I went back again and tried the last option, to my right. I ran half a kilometre, and it joined the flyover too – another wrong route…

Tears started to form. In the openness, in the middle of a wide tarred road that branched in three, I didn’t know which one to take. I cried. I stood there and cried! I felt alone. The world around me felt too huge. In the darkness, I wished for more light, not just my headlight. I needed comfort. My tear streams joined the beard of sweat along my cheeks, down my chin, dripping on my chest. I couldn’t decide if it was my tears or the pouring rain or my perspiration that got my heart soaked. I shivered for a moment. I froze for a second. I took a difficult deep breath. In the middle of this road (SS14) with the sea on my left and mountains on my right, I conversed with my Creator publicly. With fear in my tear-stained voice, I screamed as loud as I could: Help me, God! Help! Help! I heard my voice echoing at the top of the mountains. I cried and looked back. I walked back trusting that God will come my way again. I increased my pace and jogged as I murmured a prayer, then Psalm 23:4, ‘Even though I walk through the darkest valley… ‘

Suddenly, in the direction I was heading, under the dark pouring clouds, I saw light that appeared like a big star falling from the sky. I stood in astonishment, then another one appeared and a few more, maybe five altogether, all coming towards me just a hundred metres away. My vision got impaired. My mind got confused. Before I could lose my balance, things switched fast. I saw other runners coming with their headlights on. Quickly, I came to my senses! I joined them and changed direction. At the bridge where I had been back and forth, there were so many marks showing the correct way – the left road. I wondered how I missed seeing the marks in the first place. We ran in silence and branched on a slim shoulder on the left before the road became a flyover. Through the silence I remembered my experience in the woods…

I recalled the oneness I felt with heaven. How beautiful it felt. The moment I came face to face with who I really am. The time I felt gratitude to God for my life and everything. How marvellous creation is. The time I saw, spoke and heard with my heart. When I reflected on the welfare of my faith and the health of my body, both satisfying. I remembered how, when it got hard, I pleaded with my Creator to take over and slash some of my remaining distance. I demanded smooth trail. I requested for the rain to stop. I remember bribing God, telling Him – it’s just me and Him, He could do all I wanted, and I wouldn’t tell. When I got to fatal trails – whilst I marvelled at creation, I questioned the obstacles I had to endure. I asked for so many things and I felt like I was struggling with God. At one point, He asked me what exactly I wanted and closed the conversation with these words; ‘You are bigger than you think.’ I remembered how I detached from nature as soon as I reached the tarmac.

About ten minutes running with the others, I envisioned the finish – all that mattered now was to reach the finish and get the medal. But it soon struck me that where the road had branched – that’s where the joy and unique experience of the trails was closed – just like that. It suddenly hit me that I had left the ‘magic moment’ unrecognised. I felt a deep desire to turn back and pay tribute at the spot I had cried on, and so I ran back. There – I gave due recognition. In the centre of the road that branched in three, I stood under the rain, raised my head, looked up to the heavens, opened and raised my hands – I prayed! I asked for forgiveness. I humbly asked for conquest in my race. A lightning stroke!  I felt sacred fires in my heart, making me perspire everywhere. I felt the power of the sanctified spirit filling the air around me. I felt God’s full existence. This place surprisingly became part of my life, all part of God’s design.

This was such a raw account of what you faced in those forests and mountains for 13.5 hours… what you experienced with yourself, and with God… In such an intense situation, where did you find enjoyment? I experienced extraordinary enjoyment. Every time God wants to drive me crazy, He grants me every wish! On the trails, I mostly enjoyed all the graces and blessings God gave me. I contemplated the endless beauty of God’s creation. I discovered myself. I explored nature. Most of the time, I loved the world around me. I admired my strong body, and I felt a lot of gratefulness to God for myself and everything. I accomplished all I had to accomplish. I achieved injuries and scars even during my state of ecstasy.  My heart was bruised. My heart was exalted. I experienced suffering. I had joy. I was terrified. Yet, I acknowledged my destiny and accepted the burden it has come with. God has placed in my heart a dream that everything is possible and I’m not going to betray that, no matter the cost.

My experience of ‘La Corsa Della Bora’ will forever be one of adoration, one I will treasure in my heart. This race restored my faith.  I enjoyed the grace to rejoice and find pleasure in agony. It was a wonderfully horrible race! Terribly pleasant! I liked the time I had in the wilderness reflecting spiritually about the taxing journey I was on, one of misery and pleasure. The undeniable joy that came with hard yet worthy challenges. I enjoyed the beauty that I had the power to awaken my spirit and concentrate on the person I am. I crossed extraordinary paths that calmed all my worries and brought me peace and harmony. My heart is at peace and my soul is calm for I have enjoyed all the graces and blessings I was granted on this race.

One last thing…you say you “discovered yourself” – what did you discover? That with the toughness and size of my mental strength, I have hit a jackpot! I learnt that for me to conquer the world, I must conquer my heart first. I believe anything worth achieving is worth working hard for. Even natural gifts won’t help at a certain period. Signing up for the race, I already envisioned myself as a hero and strong, simply because I knew I was going to prepare hard. I’m very committed to my dreams. As I traversed those mountains with such pain and grit, I indeed felt heroic and strong. I learnt I can be loyal to my dreams no matter the cost. I can be kind, patient and trust myself. I had put myself in the middle of my own dream and I was at peace with it. I let myself off the hook of high expectations and enjoyed the process.

Every step was an effort I acknowledged, every kilometre a victory I celebrated. I paid attention to ‘what if I complete…’ rather than ‘what if I can’t’. I have made many great things happen when I embody a positive attitude and step outside my comfort zone. Without hesitation, I know I’m enough, I know how to show up for myself. Nobody ran my hardest-ever first kilometre for me. The courage I had to set my foot at the start of the 81km trail with harsh weather, limited resources, such altitudes and technical terrain… It made me realise I’m not an average person. I have the gift to move my body in incredible ways, one step at a time. I have the opportunity to let my legs take me to special places and that I shall not ever take for granted.

At the finish, I called home and asked them to play ‘Hero’ by Enrique Iglesias and put it on repeat. When I reached home, I found my song on full blast. I danced from the main entrance door, where everyone was waiting for me. I swung my body greatly like a professional dancer. I kissed them and danced with each one of them happily. After everything I went through, I can’t afford to take anything for granted anymore. I danced with my crew. I learnt that I have realized my dreams with the constant support of my family and friends. Oh, and one last important thing, I am going to need more pairs of running shoes!

Every so often you hear a story that grips you, that captures your heart and leaves you soul-searching, and this my friend, is one of them. I don’t ever recall precisely how well I did until your interviews! I feel honoured. Thank you so much, Shathi, for coming up with these questions. I do not know how you managed but you made me cry more than the race itself!

Previous Guest Blogs/Interviews with Tshire:

• Running Comrades in 2022 – Part 1
• Running Comrades in 2022 – Part 2
• La Corsa Della Bora in 2023 – Part 1

Linking up with Coach Debbie Runs, Confessions of a Mother Runner, Mile by Mile, and Runs with Pugs for the Runners’ Roundup linkup! Be sure to read their blogs and catch up with other runners from around the world.